Tag archive for ‘Funny Jokes’

Cinderella at 75

by KyrilSoul-X - on Feb 25th 2010 - 1 Comment

A joke for today =D.

Cinderella is now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead Prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared the Fairy Godmother. Cinderella said “Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?”

The Fairy godmother replied, “Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?”

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, and almost under her breath she uttered her first wish: I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension.”

Instantly, her rocking chair was turned into solid gold. Cinderella was stunned. Bob, her old faithful cat, jumped off her lap and scampered to the edge of the porch, quivering with fear.

Cinderella said, “Oh thank you, Fairy Godmother”. ! The Fairy Godmother replied “It is the least I can do. What does your heart want for your second wish?”

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said: “I wish I were young and full of the beauty of youth again”. At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful youthful visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside her that had been dormant for years. A long forgotten vigor and vitality began to course through her.

Then the Fairy Godmother again spoke “You have one more wish, what shall you have?”

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says,”I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man”.

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up, that when complete he stood before her, a man, so beautiful the likes of which neither she nor the world had ever seen,so fair indeed that birds began to fall from the sky at his feet.

The Fairy Godmother again spoke, “Congratulations, Cinderella . Enjoy your new life.”

And, with a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, she was gone.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other’s eyes.

Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most stunningly perfect man she had ever seen. Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms.

He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered, “I bet you regret having me neutered now, don’t you?”

Peter Chao (Random Post)

by KyrilSoul-X - on Jan 13th 2010 - No Comments

This 2 video is so funny!!

Left 4 Dead Intro (Hokkien Funny Version)

by KyrilSoul-X - on Oct 13th 2009 - No Comments

Thanks To Chenjun` for contributing such a funny video.

S.O.B.

by KyrilSoul-X - on Sep 21st 2009 - No Comments

Girl: “Forgive me father for I have sinned.”
Priest: “What have you done my child?”

Girl: “I called a man a son of a bitch.”
Priest: “Why did you call him a son of a bitch?”

Girl: “Because he touched my hand.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touches her hand)

Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call a man a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “Then he touched my breast.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touched her breast)

Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “Then he took off my clothes, father.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he takes off her clothes)

Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)

Girl: “YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!”
Priest: (after a fe! w minutes): “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”

Girl: “But father he had AIDS!”
Priest: “THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!”

10 Jokes!!

by KyrilSoul-X - on Sep 20th 2009 - No Comments

1. Why are condoms transparent? So that sperms can at least enjoy the scene even if their entry is Restricted!

2. Signboard outside a prostitute’s house: Married MEN not allowed.. We serve the needy, not the greedy.

3. New AIDS awareness slogan: Try different positions with the same woman instead of same position with different women.

4. Why is sex like shaving? Well, because no matter how well you do it today. tomorrow you’ll have to do it again.

5. What will happen if earth rotates 30 times faster? Men will get their salary everyday and women will bleed to death.

6. Why do 90% gals have left boob bigger than right? Because 90% boys are right handed.

7. What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN? When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR… it is SHOWTIME!

8. What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum? Both are sweet in the beginning but become tasteless and shapeless later

9. Advantages of having an affair with a married woman. They give like hell. They do not yell. They do not tell. They do not swell and there is no wedding bell!

10. My dad told me that if Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would be still in Paradise . Why? Because they would have eaten the snake instead of the bloody apple!